Hey y'all! I sat down with recording artist, author and founder of Beautiful I Am Foundation, Kimberly Douglas. Beautiful I Am is a non-profit organization geared towards the value, and worth of young women. We had a conversation surrounding self love. I pray it blesses you!
You can learn more about Beautiful I Am at: www.beautifuliam.org
Welcome to the Modern Day Christian Chick Podcast where we look at every day life through the lens of the Gospel, while having conversations surrounding self care, intentional living, worship, church culture and current events. Hey y'all! I sat do...
We are in the midst of a pandemic and an epic fight for justice in this country. The evil in the world is palpable and overwhelming. It is difficult enough to maintain balance in our every day lives when things are moving along in a fairly normal fashion, but when all around us seems to be falling, it is that much more important to prioritize self care.
I have learned in recent years, the importance of establishing routines. It have found that operating from your feelings is not effective in living a balanced life. Creating habits, making commitments and then keeping them is the key. Although I falter from time to time, I’ve found that the intentional integration self care into my daily routines, keeps me moving toward wellness.
I have written extensively about spending time in the presence of God as the highest form of self care. Devotion time, now more than ever is of utmost value. I have found it very easy to give way to my anger and frustration during this time. Although the anger is justified and legitimate, I strive to never let it keep me from loving my neighbor. In every situation and in all things, loving God and loving our neighbor must be the supreme ethic.
I have written about my Self Care routine before, but here are seven things I am doing to stay balanced and cared for specifically while navigating pandemics.
Spend Time With God - I start each day with prayer and a guided devotion. I use the Daily Devotion App by Justin Huffman. Also, You Version is a great App to engage in devotional series. Feel free to follow me on that App: Marsha Myers. I love that it has a social interaction component. You can even start a group series and walk through your devotions with friends.
Move Daily - I have talked about this before in previous self care posts, but incorporating the Peloton into my life has had amazing benefits. The social and community aspects of the Peloton have kept me motivated and encouraged. Exercise has lowered my anxiety and improved my mood overall. Find an exercise program or ritual that works for you and do it regularly. Walking is free and has amazing benefits.
Eat Healing Foods - It seems as if this movement of Self Care has been focused around indulging in things that make us feel good in the moment. So we indulge in things that are decadent, believing we deserve it because we are in a state of stress. But I have realized that in the end, that those indulgences on a regular basis can be harmful long term. Self care should be about indulging in those things that are helpful and healing to our bodies and add to our overall sustained wellbeing.
Hydrate - I admittedly still do not drink as much water as I should, but the more water I drink, the better I feel. When you are feeling sluggish or experience brain fog (as I do) try drinking some water. It helps.
Rest - I have found that sleep is an absolute necessity to rejuvenate, heal and be sustained. The body was not designed to be up and on 24 hours a day. Prioritize rest, relaxation and sleep. Take short breaks during the day to breathe or to delve into moments of prayer and meditation. I like to turn on a worship song and allow myself to be led into the presence of God with my hands up just thanking God for who He is and recognizing His sovereignty and authority over my life is freeing.
Journal - Write down how you feel. Don’t hold anything back. Be honest. Seek God and deal with the feelings and actions that do not line up with His word. It is a game changer and has changed my life.
Therapy - We endure so many traumas in our lives and most of us just keep on pushing trough the panic attacks or the anxiety or depression because that is what we have been conditioned to do. I am here to tell you, that doing so is unhealthy behavior. Just as we go to the doctor when we feel something is wrong in our body, we should go to a mental health professional when we feel something is wrong emotionally or suffer a trauma. If we do not deal with things as they come, the trauma will pile up and eventually become so heavy that we break. Do not allow yourself to get to that point. Every battle is fought, won or lost in the mind.
*I realize that the self care suggestion of therapy is not accessible to everyone. It should be. There are financial and social barriers that keep mental health resources and other basic needs out of the reach of those who desperately need them. If you do not have access to mental health services please do your due diligence and search for any free mental health services that may be available in your area.
This world is evil and a difficult place to navigate. The love of money and power are inextricably linked to the desire to ensure that the systems that were created at the inception of this country remain in tact, carrying out their intended purpose of keeping those in power, IN power. But even in the midst of the reality of such evil, God has purposed us to be a light in the world.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
- Matthew 5:14-16
There is a constant and intentional effort to dim our light. Not taking care of ourselves will cause our light to be dimmed. We cannot be a light in a dark world with a dim light. Let’s put in the work every day to keep the light God has placed in us shining bright for the world to see. We must be strong to do the work of the kingdom, to feed the hungry and fight for the disenfranchised. To demand justice for those who are unable to demand it for themselves. It is our duty and should be our honor to do so, in the name of the Lord.
Be kind to yourself. Show yourself some grace. Be vulnerable and transparent with God and allow Him to heal you. Your time with God is a safe space to unburden yourself of every weight you are carrying. He invites us to cast all of our cares on Him, so let’s do just that. Take care of yourself so that you can begin to take care of and minister to others, and live the abundant life God has for you.
Until recently, I had not been taking care of myself. For the past year or so I have chosen to do so. I have made it a priority and it has brought about a monumental change in my life for the better. I find joy in taking care of others and have always been taught that it is better to give than to receive. Giving to others genuinely brings me joy but I realized that because I was not giving to myself I was operating at a deficit and giving to others from a place of brokenness. It was not sustainable and I found myself at a crossroads struggling to survive. Thank God I’ve learned to operate in God’s strength and not in my own perceived strength because I am most assuredly weak and was incapable of caring the heavy load that was my life.
I began to depart from myself after college. Instead of pursuing the law career I always saw myself launching, I decided to get married. How and when I decided to not actively pursue my goals is something I’m still trying to figure out. Anyway, I was not ready and the decision was not a good one, for me. It was good in that from that union God blessed me with four beautiful children (3 living and 1 resting eternally with the Lord). Listen, I completely love, respect and value the institution of marriage. The example of a healthy marriage with Christ in the center was modeled before me by my parents. Little did I know, but soon found out, that while you don’t have to marry the perfect person (because that person does not exist) you must find someone who also values marriage and the covenant made in that union. But that is a story for another blog post so I’ll leave that there for now. I will circle back though because it is an integral part of my journey.
Here’s the thing - Only you can choose to neglect or pay attention to yourself. It is your responsibility to make yourself a priority. Unfortunately it took me a long time and enduring some traumatic experiences to realize that. While I do recognize that there is value in the process of weathering a storm, if I can help anyone avoid the pain I’ve endured by sharing my experiences then I’m here for it.
I’ve learned that self care can include performing selfless acts. Selflessness within the context of doing something beautiful for someone else is amazing. Just be careful that in your acts of selflessness you don’t always exclude yourself. God gives us discernment. Listen to His voice. Sometimes you have to choose you. Taking care of yourself requires intentionality and I’ve learned that taking care of myself and taking care of others is not mutually exclusive. The whole in the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure while on a plane, put the oxygen mask on yourself first is actually sound advice that should be applied throughout your life. You cannot help someone else if you don’t survive.
Spending time in the presence of God is the highest form of self care. You can spend all the time you want taking long baths, getting rid of all of the things that do not spark joy, treating yourself to items you don’t need all in the name of self care, but no one knows you better and more intimately than God. After all, He created you in His image. He knows all about you so who better to ask for direction, wisdom and counsel than God Himself.
Take it from someone who was living in the margins of her own life, give yourself permission to thrive in your story. Christ came not only that we might have life but that we would have it more abundantly. Make the conscious decision to resist those things and people who derail your efforts of living in peace. Live an abundant life in Christ. We must all choose the benefits God freely offers us. Choose Him and live!