ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?

Until recently, I had not been taking care of myself. For the past year or so I have chosen to do so. I have made it a priority and it has brought about a monumental change in my life for the better. I find joy in taking care of others and have always been taught that it is better to give than to receive.  Giving to others genuinely brings me joy but I realized that because I was not giving to myself I was operating at a deficit and giving to others from a place of brokenness.  It was not sustainable and I found myself at a crossroads struggling to survive.  Thank God I’ve learned to operate in God’s strength and not in my own perceived strength because I am most assuredly weak and was incapable of caring the heavy load that was my life.  

I began to depart from myself after college.  Instead of pursuing the law career I always saw myself launching, I decided to get married. How and when I decided to not actively pursue my goals is something I’m still trying to figure out.  Anyway, I was not ready and the decision was not a good one, for me.  It was good in that from that union God blessed me with four beautiful children (3 living and 1 resting eternally with the Lord).  Listen, I completely love, respect and value the institution of marriage.  The example of a healthy marriage with Christ in the center was modeled before me by my parents.  Little did I know, but soon found out, that while you don’t have to marry the perfect person (because that person does not exist) you must find someone who also values marriage and the covenant made in that union.  But that is a story for another blog post so I’ll leave that there for now.  I will circle back though because it is an integral part of my journey. 

Here’s the thing - Only you can choose to neglect or pay attention to yourself.  It is your responsibility to make yourself a priority.  Unfortunately it took me a long time and enduring some traumatic experiences to realize that.  While I do recognize that there is value in the process of weathering a storm, if I can help anyone avoid the pain I’ve endured by sharing my experiences then I’m here for it.  

I’ve learned that self care can include performing selfless acts.  Selflessness within the context of doing something beautiful for someone else is amazing. Just be careful that in your acts of selflessness you don’t always exclude yourself.   God gives us discernment.  Listen to His voice.  Sometimes you have to choose you.  Taking care of yourself requires intentionality and I’ve learned that taking care of myself and taking care of others is not mutually exclusive.  The whole in the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure while on a plane, put the oxygen mask on yourself first is actually sound advice that should be applied throughout your life.  You cannot help someone else if you don’t survive.

Spending time in the presence of God is the highest form of self care.  You can spend all the time you want taking long baths, getting rid of all of the things that do not spark joy, treating yourself to items you don’t need all in the name of self care, but no one knows you better and more intimately than God.  After all, He created you in His image.  He knows all about you so who better to ask for direction, wisdom and counsel than God Himself.  

Take it from someone who was living in the margins of her own life, give yourself permission to thrive in your story. Christ came not only that we might have life but that we would have it more abundantly.  Make the conscious decision to resist those things and people who derail your efforts of living in peace. Live an abundant life in Christ.  We must all choose the benefits God freely offers us.  Choose Him and live!